BEE-lieve it or not, my husband and I have both been stung in the face within a two week period. Each of us were just merrily riding a Gator (him) and a 4-wheeler (her) while checking irrigation water, when, BAM! Out of nowhere, an unsuspecting bee hits us under the left eye (him) and above the right eyebrow (her). I guess when bees whack a person doing 30 mph, their last ditch effort is to sting said motorist. Then all the sting victim can do is cuss (him) and cry (her) while their face throbs and swells.
Cue the sad violins.
Bugs Bunny | Warner Bros.
So, while I’m sitting here with a forehead that looks like I belong in one of those Geiko caveman commercials, I’m reminded of another bee sting story.
Geico Caveman
When I was about 5-years-old, we lived in Eaton, Colo. My parents were finally able, after many years of planning and dreaming, to purchase 80 acres. While our new house was being built, we would go out to check progress and do things adults do while building a house. Forgive me for not really knowing exactly what we were doing out there. I was 5.
Many of the details are a little fuzzy (I was 5), but what is clear in my memory is the fact that I had a pop in my chubby little hands. I was slurping said soda (have you ever known a 5-year-old to quietly drink a beverage? The answer is, no.). For some reason, I set the aforementioned pop down and ran off to do whatever it is 5-year-olds do at a construction site. And when I came back, I took a BIG slurp of the sugary stuff.
“Oh, shucks,” I thought to myself. “There’s a dirt clod in my pop.”
So I spit the whole mess out and lo-and-behold, the dirt clod was a bee.
My surprise at seeing a bee come out of my mouth was quickly overtaken by the throbbing pain on my tongue. Certain of his impending compassion and concern, I ran to my Dad.
“There wath a bee inma pop! Ibitma! Ibitma!” I tried my best to communicate. Dad just laughed.
He didn’t believe me! The wretched parent! How could he mistrust such an innocent face with such a swollen tongue? But mistrust he did and it’s taken years of imaginary therapy for me to come to terms with his denial of my truth.
And at times like this, with my swollen brow, I think it’s still a very traumatic memory.
Don’t even get me started on the time there was a mouse in my boot!
God Bless You & American Agriculture,
Liz
And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. – Ephesians 6:4 (KJV)
P.S. After posting this, I got a couple suggestions. My mom recommends a vinegar and baking soda paste and my friend Judy recommends a product called Afterbite (or just plain ammonia, which is the main ingredient). Shout out, if you have any bee sting cures!
The Farm Paparazzi 
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